I realise that the only reason I have spoken French this week (beyond “Une baguette s’il vous plait”) has been to complain about something.

Quite why I suddenly become a confident linguist when I need to moan I can’t explain; but whatever the reason, I’m thinking that for the sake of progressing of my French – perhaps I should do it more often?

At school – rarely could I summon the enthusiasm to recite polite French small-talk. So perhaps if old Mr Evans had taught me how to say things such as:

“You can bring your dog into the children’s playground again, by all means, but next time I see it – it better be wearing a muzzle and have a cork up it’s arse!”

… then possibly I would have paid more attention.