When is a bedroom not a bedroom? When it’s a dining area! (no it’s not supposed to be funny)

We have discovered, in our search for a new pad, that there are many shysters out there who are optimistically describing their two-bed places as three-bed. More exactly, they are hoping that a large living room will be regarded by prospective tenants ‘as good as two rooms’ even though it is blatantly just the one.

They get away with this ambiguity because of the french real-estate taxonomy. Put quite simply, no-one talks about ‘bedrooms’, rather ‘rooms’; more specifically – rooms excluding the hall, toilet, bathroom or kitchen. Ergo a 3-room appartment is effectively a 2-bed because the third room is the living room.

So when someone advertises their pad as 3/4 rooms – they are actually saying is

“This is a two bed apartment, but we thought you’d appreciate knowing that the living room is, in our opinion really quite large; no really – you could house an entire family of Pygmies in there and still have room to fit in a large smorgasbord with matching dining table and chairs. No really, it’s as good as having a separte dining room, office or winter garden, it’s the bloody bee’s bendy bits. So naturally we’ll be expecting you to pay handsomely for it. “