If you ever needed pointers on what it might be like to be an irritating juvenile cliquey I’m-too-cool-to-be-seen-with-you sort in 2006; (i.e. someone more concerned with listening to the RIGHT music, hanging out with the RIGHT people, wearing the RIGHT clothes, and having OPPOSITE opinion to everyone – about everything, than – say – their own personal hygiene) then you’d be well advised to take a butchers at the results of this year’s NME awards.

Not only does the country’s biggest selling newcomer (artist James Blunt) get voted for worst album (of course); but crack-head Pete Doherty is voted ‘sexiest male’ (yes the ‘stoned out of my brains’ look is considered sexy) and the Kaiser Chiefs are alleged to be the ‘Best Dressed’ musicians of the year. (If that’s true – I should withdraw the comments I about my father recently. Clearly the scruffy-polyester-seventies-pillock look is undergoing a renaissance.)