You would think there would be nothing simpler to master, in France, than a quick trip to the local grocers to pick up a few essentials. A pint (500ml) of milk, some cheese, some bread and a wee bit of smoked salmon totalling €3.99 for example?

In England the cashier would simply say “That will be three-ninety-nine please” – and bish bosh you’re outta there.

The French however, for the same transaction (translated) is “That will be three-four-twenty-ten-nine please”.

And she wondered why I looked confused?!

Mon Dieu.