The world’s war-mongers are coming to town in a few weeks time to have a bit of a knees-up, and (on the 3rd and 4th of April) as the worlds most armed nations come together to celebrate their sixtieth anniversary, the people of Strasbourg are to be treated to ‘restrained’ circulation, limited parking spaces, closed shops, schools and leisure facilities as well as restricted access to medical care.

I’ve heard that local residents will be barred from their own homes (within an unspecified security ‘zone’) unless they register with the police for an official pass, and the entire UNESCO central isle will be a no-go area.

Security services are preparing to deal with the wave of demonstrations by canvas-shoed hippies, rioting lefty students and running street battles with pacifist-anarchists. Anyone daring to look suspicious AND Arabic will be strip-searched at gunpoint and treated to high-pressure hosing, rubber bullets and tear gas for good measure.

It’s marvellous to be part of the free world isn’t it?