Category Archives: London Life

Here’s a tip if you want to walk across central London without getting stopped by a clipboard weilding survey-taking hawker, charity worker, Hare Krishna or drunken Scotsman: Wear an ‘Equipe de France’ rugby shirt. Trust me – it works. Gimps … Continue reading →

If you ever needed pointers on what it might be like to be an irritating juvenile cliquey I’m-too-cool-to-be-seen-with-you sort in 2006; (i.e. someone more concerned with listening to the RIGHT music, hanging out with the RIGHT people, wearing the RIGHT … Continue reading →

There’s a crack house on my doorstep There’s a hooker on my street I’ve had my car radio nicked By kids with tattooed feet I’ve been burgled by a father and son Who knew no right from wrong They knew … Continue reading →

Following yesterday’s decision by the government, to ban smoking in all indoor public places, it is expected that almost every smoker in the country will begin whinging as much as 30 times a day once the smoking ban takes affect … Continue reading →

Now I was of the belief that dumb nicknames were the exclusive preserve of the public school twit. Not so. A gentleman from the West Country appears to have retained a moniker he was given by ‘some girl’ at school … Continue reading →

It was probably on a matter of seconds from the moment of opening the boot of our car – to there being a swarm of ‘customers’ scavenging amongst our unwanted posessions hunting for, well god only knows what. These were … Continue reading →

The word ‘metrification’ is regarded by some sectors of British society as worse than cussing using the ‘c’ word. These people, with their irrational fondness for inches, feet, pints, fluid-ounces, stones, dozens, shillings, miles etcetera, appear to equate the possible … Continue reading →

Why is it that every pensioner, unemployed dork and income support beneficiary still insist upon collecting their social security payment, in cash, in person, over the counter, on the same day, at the same time – at the post offce? … Continue reading →

Just realised – those Gary ads were for Walkers Crisps, not Golden Wonder. It just goes to show how ineffectual advertising really is, if you can remember the ad, but not the product!

R.I.P. Golden Wonder crisps. I loved your niknaks. So is this an appropriate time to point the finger at their pathetic TV commercials featuring Gary Lineker? If you’re not aware of these commercials they ran for 10 years or so, … Continue reading →

Just thought it might be interesting to write a few lines while reasonably pi**ed. Just been to the University of Westminster’s Alumni advisory eveing, to pass on my invaluable life’s experiences. Followed it up with a few glasses of wine, … Continue reading →

Why is it that (in the UK) we equate one game with a whole genre? In my mind ‘sport’ does not equal ‘football’. Football is a sport, of that there is no doubt, but why is it that when pundits … Continue reading →

Our flat (in London) was burgled by couple of chavs yesterday. I hope they rot in hell for all eternity – or similar.

Either my immune system has been weakened by all the French cheese I’ve been consuming over the past three months – or London is a hot bed of nuclear bacteria. I favour the latter as the most likely cause of … Continue reading →