Archive for February, 2006
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
Ode to Southwark
There’s a crack house on my doorstep
There’s a hooker on my street
I’ve had my car radio nicked
By kids with tattooed feet
I’ve been burgled by a father and son
Who knew no right from wrong
They knew how much my camera was worth
But not my balinese sarong
I’ve been ripped off by some builders
Who thought that I was rich
They [...]
No Comments » - Posted in London Life by Bart
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
Smokers will have to take up full time whining and whinging
Following yesterday’s decision by the government, to ban smoking in all indoor public places, it is expected that almost every smoker in the country will begin whinging as much as 30 times a day once the smoking ban takes affect in 2007.
“I’d given up whinging” says Stuart Chainwhiner (39), “but this ban puts me back [...]
No Comments » - Posted in London Life by Bart
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
Golfy
Now I was of the belief that dumb nicknames were the exclusive preserve of the public school twit. Not so. A gentleman from the West Country appears to have retained a moniker he was given by ’some girl’ at school who thought his head portrayed a remarkable resemblance to a golf-ball.
Does that mean [...]
No Comments » - Posted in London Life by Bart
Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
Chiswick Car Boot
It was probably on a matter of seconds from the moment of opening the boot of our car - to there being a swarm of ‘customers’ scavenging amongst our unwanted posessions hunting for, well god only knows what.
These were junk junkies, looking for their next fix, leaping around like castrated badgers in a tandoori oven. [...]
