Monthly Archives: February 2006

There’s a crack house on my doorstep There’s a hooker on my street I’ve had my car radio nicked By kids with tattooed feet I’ve been burgled by a father and son Who knew no right from wrong They knew how much my camera was worth But not my balinese sarong I’ve been ripped off [...]

Following yesterday’s decision by the government, to ban smoking in all indoor public places, it is expected that almost every smoker in the country will begin whinging as much as 30 times a day once the smoking ban takes affect in 2007. “I’d given up whinging” says Stuart Chainwhiner (39), “but this ban puts me [...]

Now I was of the belief that dumb nicknames were the exclusive preserve of the public school twit. Not so. A gentleman from the West Country appears to have retained a moniker he was given by ‘some girl’ at school who thought his head portrayed a remarkable resemblance to a golf-ball. Does that mean it’s [...]

It was probably on a matter of seconds from the moment of opening the boot of our car – to there being a swarm of ‘customers’ scavenging amongst our unwanted posessions hunting for, well god only knows what. These were junk junkies, looking for their next fix, leaping around like castrated badgers in a tandoori [...]